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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Merry Christmas or whatever the hell you celebrate.

So the photo above is meant to make you all laugh.  That is my cute little orange girl all angry about being done up donning festive gear.  Here is what this post is all about.  Our Christmas is small we have gifts for family will of done a total of two parties and love more than anything to snuggle up together.  We are lucky we have a warm well mostly warm house a good deal of plastic in the windows this year.  We have plenty of food and medicines if we need them. We have decent jobs and make enough to have a OK little life. We have sweet pets like the tiny devil featured above.  We have family that is looking forward to being with us and friends that think of us and make us laugh as well.  We have a few presents under the tree, sugar cookies on the stove.  Yes one of them is a penis and we have love.  It is not a perfect love but it is ours and we enjoy the hell out of ourselves. 
I cannot imagine there is anyone out there who reads my post on a regular basis as I usually fail to keep this up but whoever you are any place out there if you come across this.  For the holidays this year I wish you everything we have and more.  Thank you for taking the time to visit my little world.
See ya in 2013 assuming doom does not come for us tomorrow.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Enjoying the season not rushing through it.

So this is as anyone who has ever read my crap knows one of my favorite times of the year.  While I do love the getting and giving and it is a good selling season for my little shop I really try to enjoy the time with friends and family. 
Yesterday I went out when it was slow and dicked around picking out bath products when it was quiet and I got to enjoy myself not be crushed into a store with 500 other customers.  Last night we went on a holiday lights drive.  Sunday we are going to see a live nativity.  OK so I am not a church person as I do not really go for organized religion but I am a animal person and they have lots of animals in a petting zoo you get to see and pet for free and while they share their religion they don't try to overwhelm ya it is much more feel free to come in and chat here is a pamphlet if you like.  Not the repent now people.
So today I am taking a hour one whole beautiful uninterrupted hour to sit with nothing on but the Christmas lights because I like the glow and in that hour I am just going to relax and think about what really matters to me and how lucky I feel. 
Hope you all enjoy your holidays as well.
If you like the painting above it is available in my shop

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

When the Elf comes down off his high and mighty shelf.

This was inspired by my comical friend Amy and her amazing imagination.  Thisis how we think the Elf spends his free time you know snorting coke off a hookers ass.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Gratitude for humor, Regretsy and Tampon Dolls and Penis pendants

 This has been a hell of a good week several customs came in from unexpected people one of which I nearly died when I realized they even knew who the hell I was.  Then I finished my little clay penis pendants for the holidays.  You see above this year the theme was Run Run Rudolph.  I make some for my shop each year at the holidays.  So I already had Regretsy on my mind.  Then this happened.
Sunday I found myself featured on the Regretsy front page again with my terrible little tampon doll.  I made her just for fun never dreaming I would be featured for her there I figured I had hit my limits of being featured with my stuff over the years.  Here is a link if you would like to see the comical stuff folks had to say about it.  What made it really a ball for myself and has me feeling immense amounts of gratitude is not only did the great folks over at Regretsy share it but tons of my friends shared it and laughed and enjoyed it too.  Then the person that bought it asked me for a autograph.  That cracked me up but hey if she wants it she will have it.  Off to paint some more creepy shit.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Belly Button Witch and crazy dreams

Why am I showing you the belly button witch?  Well I dreamed of her one night painted it and it changed my shop, my life and my made for a hell of a lot of fun.  I am making some little pendants of it and thought this was the perfect thing to share after crazy dreams all last night. 
I am doing the gratitude thing and trying to share something I am grateful for every time I get a chance.  This time I am grateful for my crazy dreams and the folks that find them entertaining.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Big dreams and big gratitude my little world.

This year has been really good to me.  I have met most of my major work goals or beat them.  Made more time for family and myself so all the good things are happening.  So from today till Thanksgiving I am going to try and come on here and mention one thing I am grateful for as often as I can.  In my view I want a lot from this world I want to work hard and get some place, for people to try and be good to each other and for us to take care of the planet and each other.  That seems like a hell of a lot to ask so I figure while trying to do my part to make those things happen I should show some gratitude for what has happened. 
Today I am grateful that we all here in the United states get to vote and pray we all have the sense not to elect Romney. 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

When you have a split personality and gratitude

 This little post is about two things and that should be made clear by the stark difference in the photos shown.  Both photos are of my work they come from the same place in my that feels the urge to create and share.  One is about love and one about laughter to me they are equal in importance in life.  So with that I am reminding myself to embrace the nutty variety that is my truth and hope you do the same with yours. 
Now on to the gratitude list.
1.  For the sales as of late a real pick up in sales has helped things nicely.  It is not that money is the be all end all but a little extra is better. 
2.  For the fact old chubby dog seems to of perked up yet again.  I swear that dog is magic.
3.  For this cool weather I love it and all the cozy things it brings along with it. 
4.  For my friends they make me laugh so much it just makes life more fun.
5.  For the feeling of faith that seems to of renewed in me as of late.  It may not be for everyone and I in no way wish to push it on others but it is the way for me. 
So what are you grateful for today?
Oh the painting below was inspired by a photo I saw on Regretsy I hope it makes you laugh like the sick ducks you know you are.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Ghost are haunting my bathroom

This has been a really good week most of my spooky stuff is listed and waiting for a new home.  This creepy guy above can be found in my shop at and then he can go creep the hell out of someone else.  So this time of the year I always feel a little creeped out and sure enough this year is no exception.  Things keep getting moved hear bumps.  I am sure it is just a giant spider hiding in our attic or something but I like to imagine it is a ghost. 
Now on to the photo below.  It is one of my new magnets and pendants lines.  Always looking towards the future and trying to do new stuff I have started making these.  This one is for
 the winter and Fall I made just for myself because I loved the image.    It is a polish stamp with the cutest little girl on there.
So I told you my bathroom is haunted.  Here is the story all the time things keep moving in our bathroom.  There is just the two of us here and no pets are allowed in there and it happens fairly often when I am the only one home.  I have a shelf with my tiny donkey collection on it because well I like something to entertain me in there and I cannot abide keeping reading material in there it then seems tainted.  Any how someone or something keeps moving my donkeys. 
My question for you guys is does anyone else have a ghost story?

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Spooky has arrived Hooray

There is nothing I love more than a cool breeze and a hot beverage while keeping a eye out for ghost, goblins and all things creepy.  So with Halloween season upon us I thought it was time to make some nifty slightly creepy things.  That would be the work above.
Other things currently cooking are creating a new dining room table we need it to be small as the dining room doubles as a office in my little world.  I will show photos as that comes along as well.
My first order of business for October has been to pick out a day to go pumpkin hunting. 
Have fun all

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My first handmade purchase

So this week I had one of those full circle moments.  I was going over my old jewelry boxes I don't get to wear near as much as I would like because most of my days are spent in my art cave covered in various paints, lacquers and such.  It would be terrible to ruin it so I mostly only get to wear things when out for the day.  For that reason I love to look over my boxes and enjoy all the shiny bits I leave in there most of the time for safe keeping. 
This brooch pendant was one of the things I noticed this week.  It was my very first handmade purchase.  I bought it twenty some odd years ago at our annual winter craft bazaar at my school. 
I was in the third grade and I loved those events.  The winter one had music, if we were lucky a little snow and tons of holiday decorations.  I had saved up about twenty bucks to do my Christmas shopping.  Well when I came across this lady who had a table full of these and earrings, rings all kinds of things I thought it was just magical.  I must have touched everything on that poor woman's table. 
My questions all about how she made them and everything she endured.  To me the fact she could make this at home on her own was crazy I had no idea people could do things like this.  I bought this one for myself and one for my mother. 
It was $5.00 and for me that was big money.  I then wore this thing every place I could being a little kid and that it is clearly more for a adult I looked strange and that was a very modern style to wear back then even as a adult.  What it did for me was this.  It made me realize how very important it is to buy things you love.  It also made me think about how very early you can be lucky enough to get introduced to handmade ooak world if you are really lucky. 
  I really wish there was a way for me to thank that woman for not saying little kid get the hell off my table but talking to me and letting me enjoy her craft.  There is a little hope in my that she somehow knows all these years later her brooch is a treasure to the person who bought it. 
With this in mind I am thinking of adding a special come on over and touch it section for my craft tables at holiday shows this year to encourage little ones to get into the idea that very special things can be made and not come from a big box shop.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

My top ten list of things to do this Fall

So as some of you who know me from real life and Facebook and such know I am a total Autumn whore.  I love it and damn near everything about it.  For no other reason than that fact I am making a little list of things I love to do in the fall and plan to do this one.  Please feel free to list yours as well.  I am hoping to take photos of the ones that would work well with so you guys can follow along. 
1.  Decorate like a mad woman.  All summer and spring I pluck along with some decorations but not much.  Boy when fall comes I jump in feet first.  This house has all kinds of things in my favorite fall colors out.  Every year I try to expand the collection by one thing. 
2.  Make one decoration just for me.  This year I believe it will be one of my nest I am popping up in my shop. 
3.  Orchards and pumpkin farm.  I love our local folks they have great little farms to go pick out things.  Going with the husband can be lots of fun.  He picks the apples because well he is about a foot taller than me.  I stare at the pumpkins for much longer than necessary till he cannot buy any longer that I am actually choosing and not just screwing him around.   Then there is the petting zoo and I knock all the small children out of the way if need be to pet those babies.
4. Put away all the summer clothing and pull out all the Fall stuff.  It does not sound like much fun but I always use it as a reason to get rid of clothing that has not been worn and I have a small obsession with organization. 
5.  Creepy movie nights.  I have about 3-4 between now and Halloween.  I try to plan them when we don't have to work the next day it makes it easier to wake up and check the room for monsters in the middle of the night.
6.  Cider I love cider and find you can pretend anything is fun if you have enough of it that is spiked with something good. 
7.  Halloween night is always one of our favorites I will get into those traditions later in the blog.
8.  Telling ghost stories here and in general.  Creeping yourself out is a hoot.
9.  Star gazing.  This is one of the best times of the year to see some great things and very soon you can do it without 5000 mosquito's annoying you. 
10.  Dragging out all the sweaters, blankets, throws and long socks I own. 
So what gets you into fall?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Things that make me laugh

This is a tiny treasure or stash box whatever you like to call it.  I made it from a old dentist box and some other random stuff then topped it with a vintage tacky pot leaf charm.  It seems at some point in my youth I liked this enough to wear it.  Now I like it enough to giggle and glue it to a box.  This makes me laugh. 
Other things that make me laugh are my neighbor who fights for 40 minutes trying to make his lawn mower work every week only to give up and then go sit on the porch and drink.
My old dog and how she whines when I have food she wants like she never gets fed.
The fact my uterus seems to be trying to fight its way out of my body despite losing the fight for the last 20yrs or so.  So friends I ask you what makes you laugh?
If you would like to see my stash boxes on sale or my other art just go here.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Peeing Kitty and other interesting things

So it has been a busy and weird few weeks.  The husband was hit by a deer.  I got into not one but two shows I really want to do.  Of course the repair for the deer injury is going to make me chose only one because it ate up our extra funds.  Not complaining though the husband being perfectly fine is the important part. 
Agreed to donate a doll to a animal charity because well I am a giant sucker for animals.  Then finished this little bit of odd.  I love the whizzing kitty and hope it makes you all laugh like lunatics.  So glad Fall is pretty much here now.  Could do without the massive cramps but hey shit happens. 
Whats shaking world?

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Good the bad and the ugly of crafting

This post is just for the sake of laughter.  It is three crafts I have done for myself in the last month or so and the wide spectrum of fuckery is nicely displayed.  The above is the good I made a little tree skirt out of that squirrel fabric and it came out just perfect.  I love it and the edging is made from a very special fabric to me.
This is the bad it started out a rag rug and turned into a wad.  Currently the dog is using it as a new bed.  She seems to love it so you know silver linings and shit they happen.   
This is the ugly it was in fairness meant to be ugly.  I needed a catch all for my scrap paper down in the art cave so I dug in the box of shit I never used but always meant to and found all of this stuff.  The box itself is made from a old CD holder.  I hope this makes you laugh and reminds everyone to never take their crafting efforts to serious.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Goats, coats, and gratitude

So this has been a busy week for me.  The goats you see above are my most recent painting.  I have had a lot of friends getting married and that some how translated to this. 
The coats business is just that is is so fucking hot it is killing my garden along with everyone elses and I am ready for rain or autumn.  I miss coats and cool and the quiet of the house without a air conditioner running. 
So one of my Friends reminded me today how judgement people can be and to be honest I got so irritated I thought of how I would love to punch several folks in the throat.  Then it came to me that I might do better to make a gratitude list and say fuck them while I try to put a little good in myself and positive mojo out in the world.
Here is my gratitude list for this last week.
1.  I am glad I got a kick in the caboose of sorts it is making me try harder.  The kick may have been unpleasant but hit had a good effect.
2.  That the old chubby dog seems to be a little more chipper.  I love when she comes and sits with her head on me for a tv show or a brushing.
3.  My first mater came in the garden.  No it did not jizz all over the other veggies but it turned bright red so I am delighted. 
4.  My husbands doing so much better it is not constantly on my mind that he is sick.
5.  Enjoying a new bottle of Mr.Bubbles.  Don't judge me I like the little bubble guy.
6.  hair color wispy fly away gray hairs and not loved.
7.  Sleeping in oh sweet baby Jesus do I love to sleep in when I get the chance.
8.  My friends they have huge hearts and I got to see how that effects others this week.
And that is enough for now. 
So what are you grateful for?

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Bulls and China

The above work is one of my new mini clay creations a bull with a china hutch.  I feel like this a little right now in my world and it is cute so why not share. 
So fairly often I come on here and talk about my goals.  Some I have been making steady progress on and some wander off into oblivion and then I remember they exist three years later.
This week I finished the first round of editing a novel.  It will need some more polishing and some cover art but then I may take the march on over to Amazon and see if I can get it up on there.  I don't care if it sells three copies just so long as I finished it and got it out of my system. 
As time goes on I realize it really does just seem like life is a fight to get as much done as you can and that is fine I am up for that.  Granted I may break a few things in the process but hell they would of been dropped by accident anyway.
So what is shaking with you world?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

New things and dreams

 So above is something new.  I have been playing with adding things to concrete and dyes and what not.  this is a close up on a stepping stone and I love it.  It is still curing but once painted with a sealer to give it a wet look this will really pop.  It has come to my attention that I need to always be trying new things.  Not that I shouldn't focus on the main things but always make time to try something new. 

The second photo is about dreams I had a dream of making shadow boxes then it occured to me I had a broken jewelry box which would be perfect for making little ones.  So I went for it.  So what do you get from your dreams and what is shaking world. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Monsters and Veggies

The monsters above are part of my effort to use or lose some would be project supplies I have had in my art cave for some time.  I am tossing these little guys up at $5.00 a monster in my shop. 
This has been a busy week had a tooth issue, family issue, a issue with my issue you know a truck bed full of bullshit.  The end result was I hid in my garden when not working.  The photo below is of my first baby pepper this year.  There are about 5 more  now sprouting in the garden. 

This week has been one of those weeks that made me think about the words loyalty, honor, loose fur, booze lots of things.  Now I am off to continue work on my rag rug.  God help you all photo will be coming when it is done.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Distractions, goals and throwing off expectations

This is a post that should of come earlier but I was tired and busy so I dicked around.  So here it is.  The painting above was a birthday gift to myself.  I have wanted to make it for some time but always put it off well this year it was just time to make something for me.  It is inspired by three of my favorite people who tossed off convention and did damn well what they pleased and viewed as right.  I am hoping hanging this in the art cave will keep me honest in my work.  Often I feel a little pulled because some folks think everything I paint must have a penis then other folks lean think I am really only making art if it has flowers and hazy backgrounds turns out fuck them all I like both and a wide spectrum in between. 
So here it goes the distractions recently have been for me that my friends are interesting bastards and I like keeping up with their goings on.  I have made a few to may dates with friends to do this and that so for a week maybe two if I need it I am pretty much cutting everyone off to focus on you guessed it goals. 
The goals are this I have a short story half typed into the computer, several art projects and a near done comic strip book prototype oh and a few sewing things I am really wanting to try out.  Something has to give and just saying it will not be my work lines things up better.  If I want to grow this empire I have to keep on the work that simple. 
Now the expectations.  Recently I have gotten several situations that people tried to nicely suggest they did not want other people to know I happen to make a lot of little clay penises for a living.  At first I tried to take this calmly but then I realized fuck off was a much better view to take.  Here is the thing while it is not all I do it is one attention getter and I am damn proud of my little business so if someone does not want to know me or finds it off color then they can just shove it up their big whiny asses.  My expectations are that we each do what we feel is right and for me my life is just that. 
So what about you whats shaking world?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Be Yourself No Matter What

So today I just want to remind everyone of something I have trouble remembering myself from time to time.  Never ever let anyone put you in a box or say this is not you.  The painting above is one of mine and not my traditional style.  It is very girly and romantic and a little strange to see coming from your standard penis painter. 
When I made it my husband when asked to nab it thought I was kidding when I said it was a painting of roses and was really surprised to see that it was.  When I showed it to friends while they thought it was lovely several thought it was crazy I would paint such a thing.  None of them in any way meant anything bad but everyone just by nature will try to put you in a box.  They want you defined because it helps make defining themselves easier. 
Well one of my friends saw it and instantly asked to buy it and it sold after being painted for less than a day.
The moral of my little story is I often hide away and just do whatever I feel in terms of art and that keeps me true to it.  I love what  I do and never think of a style or subject as off limits to me because in my mind that defeats the purpose of being a artist. 
So this is just a friendly reminder that if it feels right go for it and never ever let anyone else tell you who you are and don't try to do it to others.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Super Early and a little spooky

Going to try a new thing on Fridays God I hope it is Friday and do just a image of the day.  This is the one for today.  Have a good weekend.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Gratitude List Happy Wednesday

From time to time I like to have a dick of the week post and a gratitude post.  It is just about remembering what makes your life good.  For me those things can be big or small but I like to take the time to notice them and hope that makes life a little sweeter.
So here is my list please feel free to put your own things on here as well love to hear what keeps you folks happy as well.
1.  I am grateful that when my husband asked to use my tweezers the hairs he was removing were two strays between his eyebrows and not some random snot blocking nose hair.  I would of hated losing those tweezers they are my favorite.
2.  That when the dumb ass cat hid out for 4hrs we found her fluffy ass safe and sound in my art cave.  I really could not do with out that tiny orange face of belligerence.
3.  For my garden I love it and watching things grow it just makes me heart feel right and good.  There is a real joy in it for me.
4.  For my sweet friend who is sending me one of his artworks.  I was just in awe of how sweet and kind that was.
5.  For the smell when you walk down the coffee aisle at the grocery store.
6.  For air conditoning when done working in the garden.
What are you grateful for.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Sleep nightmares and translations

 Thought I would do a post just focusing on dreams today.  Recently my sleep has been very rattled by creepy dreams and even a few fun visits of semi sleep paralysis and sleeping hallucinations.  The image above I created from one of those moments the other night.  This is pretty much how things looked except my hair is just not long enough to cover my chest so I mermaided it to keep my privacy.  It is enough you people have to endure my ramblings no one needs nipples to go along with it. 
There was a large grey billowing fabric looked almost gauze like creature floating around.  It turned looked down at me then flipped around face to face with me.  There was also a small black portal oozing blood with little demons coming out hanging all over stuff making little skittering noises.  I woke up looked around could move some which is rare for the sleep paralysis.  Not enough to really get up but a little movement.  Then said to hell with it and went back to sleep.  So I created this to get it out of my head to make sure next time if nothing else it will not be the same things. 
Then we have the cute little mini art bears up above this.  They were put together while the painting above was drying.  How one thing so cute and sweet can coexist in the same brain as the one above I will never know but my point here is just let your work flow however it comes just go with it.  That is my two cents any way.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Dickheads of the week, bad judges and a note from the chode

Ok so lets get this weeks edition of dickheads of the week rolling. I am sitting here having some twizzler and old coffee while trying to figure out what to do with my day when not working on art or my Etsy shop. The reason why is today is the day of the silent protest. Pretty much Etsy has started giving a thumbs up to mass produced items but is trying to still pretend to be the handmade place. Which is great for them you come in and spend money thinking you are getting a great deal on handmade but blows for the rest of us. You get screwed getting mass produced items at a place you thought was handmade and we the actual small handmade shops get buried in hundreds of thousands of items mass produced so no one even sees our stuff.
As a response to the protest many people have disagreed as well as joined but these are two special select kinds of dickheads. The one above is from Lindsey who is happy to take the traffic from those of us fighting to keep the largest handmade online website just that. To me it makes her a short sighted greedy bitch but what do I know.
Then below we have the chick Kristian who wants to make sure we all know not only will she be sure to list more today but because we asked that even if you cannot or chose not to protest by closing your shop can you maybe not shop on Etsy today she has let us all know she is ready to do some shopping. To that I say let me know when Marley starts showing up as your door knocker and you hear those chains rattling bitch
Now on the the note from the chode.  Chode is my affectionate nickname for Chad the CEO of Etsy.  He likes to drop little shit nuggets like this to us failing to realize we all know it is utter bullshit.  That or his head is so far up his own ass he thinks we believe it.  Again what do I know.  Here is Chodes note.  in all of this $40 million they have raised not one damn mention of the word handmade nor of getting I do not know a simple fucking phone line.  Most of it must be earmarked to go into lead paint furniture from Bali.  That and maybe finding some new ways to fuck over the sellers or what they should call customers who have made their business what it is .  I could go on about the whole new other Etsy listing but I am flat out exhausted by their bullshit.  I will save that for next weeks dickheads. 
Now on to the bad judges.  Here you go people.  This judge takes the fucking cake.  He was judging a man who had over 100 images of kiddie porn on his computer.  They were not saved they were just cached which means he looked at them but did not keep them on his computer.  The judge said that even if the viewing was purposeful just seeing it was not a crime. 
Now here is where I starting thinking what the hell.  Now I have heard the issue that it can come up as pop up if you are on other sites and then people are afraid to call the police because it is a crime just to have it on there in any way.  They panic and fear they will be seen as pedophiles.  OK so you could even say that happened by accident 10 times to give people the chance to not feel scared to call the police I understand but over 100 times my fucking ass it did.  This makes me think the judge is or either has a pedophile in his life why else would anyone back that kind of bullshit.  Let me be clear that is only  my suspicion and opinion I have no proof the judge is a pedophile I bet he doesn't either.  So New York I hope gets this overturned in some way or prepares to become a mecca of pedophiles it will be like a pilgrimage of free candy vans and creepy old guys with puppies.  Here is a link if you would like to see it yourself.
untill next time

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Good day today tomorrow dicks of the week

So last week you all loved the dicks of the week and I did to.  Etsy has given me lots and lots of cannon fodder for a new post about it tomorrow as well so has South Carolina, some weird pastor and several other folks. 
The photo above is there for one reason.  The last little bit I have been feeling something is not just right in my world.  I keep having the urge to change up how I do what I do.  Create bigger projects in different areas and to be working towards a more set goal than world clay penis domination.  As we have seen world penis domination in general is not a good thing.  See dicks of the week post tomorrow for more info on that front. 
Any how that photo is just sort of a start on a very different path I am thinking of trying in my creative pursuits. 
Good things have happened to this week and here I am sharing. 
First we lost the damn cat for 4hrs and then found out she had snuck into the artcave/basement and hid like the little furry orange bitch she is.  On that note I am still grabbing her and hugging and kissing her a day later so you know glad she is back. 
My sister had a big birthday yesterday she turned 40.  While I am no spring chicken I greatly enjoy being able to call her old. 
The rest I am saving for tomorrow because it is either lunch now or collapse.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Thrifty Bitch Strikes again

So I already have most of my plants in my garden but I had left over soil, mini pots for starters and seeds. I had been growing them out in the back yard when I realized my sun porch that gets hot as hell might be a great little make do hot house.  I planted these 4 days ago.  I am not going to waste them just extend the garden but my new thrifty bitch tip is if you have a sun porch try using it with seeds to get some fast cheap starters going for your garden.

Friday, May 4, 2012

I did it my way and it blew goats

The title for this post was inspired by my friend Michel and his sending me a link to the well known song I did it my way crooned by Frank Sinatra.  I made this horrible little doll with one thing in mind and it went very very wrong.  Her body looks like a bug that was not the goal this is actually a flattering photo of it if such a thing could exist.  What I found funny and sweet all at once is I create a lot of stuff and while I can get attached to it very small is the amount of things I feel a true and unabiding love for that it would hurt if someone said it was ugly.  Those things I do not put up I make them for myself.  This on the other hand I was laughing and making it dance and scaring the husband with it on a regular basis while working on it.  So I had no issue putting it out to give my fan page on facebook people a laugh. 
What surprised me was that many of them liked it and a couple told me how neat it was and I was crazy.  While I know they were being sweet or maybe just are so kind they can overlook the fuckered up of it all I know it is ass ugly and that is ok.  I gave it a go it did not work out and now I have a new thing to scare the hell out of people with. 
Why is it not ok to just look at something you or someone else made and say fuck that is ugly.  This sounds like a question I should pose over on Regretsy.  Which by the way some kind soul made a forum post about my shop over there last night and they left the kindest comments.  FJL indeed.

 This is the storm that has been coming and going all day.  Just love the clouds and wind.  It is all fun and games till the tornado sirens go off.  Thankfully none of that today here so far.
 These two photos are from my little garden.  My peppers and maters are coming on great and soon I will have beans, squash and carrot photos to show ya.  Then the strawberry patch.  Best smell of the summer is a warm strawberry patch. 

Thursday, May 3, 2012

My little life in progress

So last post I got a lot of responses here and directly that people enjoyed the dickbags of the week post.  As there always seems to be a plethora of dickbags I think that is going to start being a regular weekly thing. 
Now on to what the hell the photo on top is.  That is a photo of the finished Stargate and egg Stargate characters.  I made the ring from diamond crete and use clay to make the uniforms for the characters who are all made out of wood eggs.  The shelf I found for 50 cents a million years ago at a garage sale.  All put together it is a cluster of whimsical fuckery I made for my husband a giant science fiction lover. 
When I manage some actual photos I will be back with my cheap ass but pretty new headboard.  That and plants because you all know you are just pining to see my maters and peppers.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Things and people who suck along with a note from a chode.

Now in all the time I have spent in the online world of Etsy I have never posted a shit shop or person from a shit shop on here.  I have taken aim at Etsy as a giant cluster of fucked up but never at a actual individual seller because I just don't care enough.  Well today is different today I start my once a week why you are a total dickbag post. 
First for the world.  This just pisses me every way imaginable. 
I am just ashamed for our country right now and see this as a very contrived attempt at fear mongering. 
Now on to the less important but still dickbag people of the world. 
As many of you who follow Etsy have seen many sellers myself included have been in a uproar about there changes to policy that pretty much back sellers who admit to bringing in and outsourcing massive amounts of the creations to all kinds of places. If Etsy wants to be Ebay fine that is their choice but they need to be upfront about it and have one set of rules for all of us.    As a response Friday evening just before the close of business everyplace Chad the Chode of Etsy released this little shit nugget for all of us.
Now I am paraphrasing here but to me it reads we have no clue in hell what we are going to do please leave us alone for a bit while we marinate on this with our lawyers and create yarn mustaches.  I could be wrong but seeing as it is Tuesday and we have yet to hear dick back I think I might be right. 
Then you have the other dick bags.  Many Etsy sellers concerned have opted to do a protest on May 10th we will just vacation mode or deactivate our shops and chat up what is going on over there every place else as Etsy will ban you if you mention it in your shop.  Again dickbags.  Here is the link if you would like to join or just see the shops that are doing it so far. 
Now what follows just amazes me.  Many people fall on both sides some have no clue, some do just disagree with the idea of protesting and some are all for it and many are in the middle and not sure.  There is also a fear Etsy will ban the shops that do chose to go on vacation even though we have broken no rule.  There here are the dick bags.  These are the shops well a few who have came onto the forum thread over at Etsy about the subject and explained we can all fuck off  they are happy we will be gone and maybe they can get some extra sales from it.  To me that makes them scummy business people and while yes I am sure they have pretty princess items in their store I thought you might like to see just what kind of person is behind it.  Here is the thread.  Then here are some people who do not get what we are fighting about it transparency of rules and clarity for all.  Instead they take this chance here and later on in the thread to show how they hope our efforts of closing in protest will bring them more cash.  In my view that makes them all giant turds.  Enjoy.  Tomorrow look for a post about my thrifty bitch efforts I now have a pretty and cheap new headboard.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Stop The War On Women

So today I am going to forget about Etsy and their massive bullshit and save that for tomorrow.  What I am focusing on today is something far more important to people all over this country.  There is pretty much a war on flat out over women's rights.  More states than I can recall in my life are working to put insane restrictions on birth control, your right not to share why you take it with your employer, abortion, pay, harassment in the work place, not covering birth control with insurance truly everything. 
My great grand told me about working for these rights, my grands did as well, my mother went to work in a time when she could be fired for not wearing a girdle to a office job. 
It is time to stand up and vote these people out of power and let them know we will not now nor ever again take this outlandish pile of self serving shit they tossing at us. 
Here is a link to people who can explain it much better than me.  There are also tons of marches planned today so that is why I am posting this today.  I am not sure I can get to one today as our car is shared and I had to give it to the husband today. What I am going to do is spend some time working on my garden and have my friends little girls come over so we can work together.  To me one of the biggest fears is that we could end up with girls going back to being ashamed of being good at things, not having choices and so on.  I want to do everything in my power to help all kids but girls more than most today learn they can take care of themselves and have the right to make all decisions for themselves.  Basically to help build the confidence and freedom of spirit that has lead to these marches that man people in power are trying to take away. 
Oh on a personal note I made this entire work from garbage except the cross which I put in because others religious views seems to be a new favorite as to why they can control my vagina.  The canvas was repeatedly used and was on the way out, the frame was old and ugly, the paint was rancid and the cement was extra from another project.  I figured garbage would be good to use as that is what seems to be getting hurled at women these days.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

The "Poo" of handmade

Well the poo of handmade seems to be Etsy.  A bit back they featured a seller.  The seller turns out to be a reseller. Go to if you would like the whole story.  usually I would tell you to go to the site but they have all gone fucking crazy and started deleting all their own old post to hide this from the public. 
As we the customers of Etsy small business owners and shoppers started saying hey why the fuck is this crazy bitch who is selling her large manufactured furniture all over the place still here.  This is when Etsy told us all to bend over and took away the lube. 
The bending over came in the form of what they call a more clarified version of the rules for being a collective.  I call it a blatant fucking rewrite but then what do I know being a honest business person.  According to their own never more solid than a carnival palm reader predictions rules pretty much any business can be on Etsy now.  Here is a link to their massive amount of crap they put up as the terms of a collective.  So if you can make up names you could really just sit down with 2000 employees working for you and just screw around on Etsy all day.
Now protest and outraged threads have cropped up all over Etsy.  What is really great is Etsy is going around taking them all down as fast as they can which takes a while as they are all weighed down with giant cowls made in sweatshops in China. 
For 3-4 days now we have nonstop asked for several clear answers. 
*What percentage would they consider a crafter to have to participate in the creation of a item to call it their own. 
* At what point would they consider a "collective" a huge fucking company
* Can they please make clear exactly what they consider handmade.
So far we have gotten squat in the way on answers.  What they are busy doing is being on Martha Stewart today hell I figure Martha will most likely have a Etsy shop soon.  So my dear customers and friends I am writing this to let you know be careful if you opt to shop on Etsy anymore.  I can no longer say they are doing anything to keep out resellers so really look and ask questions if you chose to buy there to make sure you are paying handmade prices for handmade items and not just getting ripped off.  Hate to say it but seeing as they have not made a public announcement maybe a press conference of some kind to make known they are no longer a handmade venue but Ebay with owls it comes off to me as fraud and I do not want my friends and customers taken in. 
I am keeping my shop there as I keep expanding in other venues but hope another real competitor for my business dollars crops up soon.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Little lamb and the comic strip life

So this little pillow above I made just because I like making them.  My sewing stuff does not sell much right now so I just make what I feel like so if all else fails I am left with something I like. 
Now you all here me rant a lot about trying to expand and keep going.  Sometimes I would like to just quit and go to sleep but in reality this is what I want to do so that would be useless. 
I am happy to report that this week the little world is expanding a bit.  First yesterday had a lunch and agreed to do a little mural for a lady in her bathroom.  Why the hell she looked at my penis riddled portfolio and thought yes this is the person to do a landscape in my shitter is beyond me but I do not ask questions. 
Then there is a really neat project I am a part of.  It is called the Superhero Lunchbox project.  The whole idea is we each doctor up a lunch box about are super heroes then they are displayed together on a blog as a sort of online gallery.  Here is a link if you would like to check it out.  Mine is there but there are others that are for more beautiful. 
Then at the end of the week I am going to on a friend who has written a couple of books blog about doing what you love.  That for me will be exciting as usually when I get to answer questions it is things like do you have insurance. 
Now this Comic strip life thing.  Well for some time I have been saving up little ideas of mini stories or comic strips.  This last week I have started creating them.  They are very rough and I am going to try just making a small number but I think it could be a fun way to venture into another area.  Here is a photo of one of those little stories it is the first of 3 pages on Odell and the pork chop.  Let me know what you think.  To be honest I have no clue if anyone reads this but it keeps me organized in my thoughts so I write it any way. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Being a thrifty bitch

So as of late I have found myself a little out of sorts.  You could call it artist block I guess but at the moment my creating of crazy paintings and creations has hit a lull.  Just feel a little blue when I look at a canvas like I should be trying to take my work and efforts to expand my business to the next level but I have no clue what either of those would really be.  That keeps me from focusing on creating my knife wielding octopuses and penises that farm. 
While  I hate that feeling never been able to abide the idea of just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself.  That is why I have started spending a good deal of time just working on fixing up our home and that kind of stuff as we hope to sell in the next couple of years and move to Sweden but also just because after the husband had a stroke it sort of went without sprucing for some time and a little sprucing makes everything seem nicer.
I am also a thrifty bitch so here are some of my finds.  Above are my new dining room/ office curtains.  The old ones we got when we moved in and the husband tossed them in the dryer which shrunk them so the window looked like it was ready for a flood.  This fabric is much more flowery then I would normally go for but I like the color and it kind of reminds me of my grandmother.  What eles I like about these curtains is that the fabric for this window and for the other and enough for a little table cloth all cost me a grand total of $1.50 a the thrift store.  For that cost and a little time to sew the curtains I cannot beat the cost.  Now I smile everytime the sun is out and my curtains light up. 
Next I went out and saw a bunch of lava rock on freecycle and I grabbed it.  We got just enough to fill our front border so that the area which usually fills with weeds is now low matinence and will highlight my new flowers.  Other than the gas and time to put out the rock it was free. 
Then the flowers.  I wanted tulips because I just think they are pretty.  Then I saw the geraniums.  Granted I like geraniums but what really sold me was that one plant which will pretty much fill one pot cost me $1.48 .  I also splurged and got myself a pansy because I love the colors.  2 geraniums and 1 pansy I spent just under 8 bucks.  Other than the potting soil, tarp for under the rocks and that kind of stuff all of which we had already my front yard will now be back to cute like when I used to enjoy sitting out and looking at it.  Hope this inspired you to be a thrifty bitch as well.  Here is a photo of my geraniums. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Ungodly early rant the need more coffee edition

The  image above is the start of some art I am doing to go with some short stories that I am hoping to make into one mini collection.  Thought why not try a different style.  So it is 8 here now and I have been up since about 3:30.  Crazy dreams got me again last night. 
This morning got the husband out the door and went to work on some art stuff.  Here is the question that ran through my head.  When you are really trying to make something work how often do you end up doing something else entirely.  The more I try to focus on one thing the more I find myself doing other stuff.  Any of you have that issue?

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Leaving a little room for magic

This is a photograph I took this morning in my garage looking out the window. You can tell it is a dirty old window and it is just above the spot for my gardening supplies.
I was getting out the gas can to see if we needed more gas to mow the lawn and I saw how the light was shining in the window and making the glass jars I save to grow little seedlings in from time to time or maybe organize small screws that kind of stuff. Well when I took the photo I realized it looks like each of the jars has little things living in it like a bunch of little wildly lit terrariums.
There in reality is not a thing in there. They all came straight from the kitchen getting washed and got sat there in the last few weeks. So I could just say this is the sun beaming in causing strange reflections. Well I am going to take this as a sign of little beings living in my garage. Besides the strange blond mouse that has been out there for about 3yrs.
My point is believe what you like but always make sure you leave a little room for imagination or hope or faith or just plain crazy whatever you want to call it. It rarely fails to make you smile if take it with a good heart.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Work in progress or death your choice

The reason for the title today is from the last few weeks. I have been super busy not so much with the shop to be honest I have fucked around there a bit seem to of had a bit of a dry inspiration spell as well I was spent and had no scratch to go buy supplies. Any how I am past that. What I have learned though in the last few weeks will be the point of this entry today.
Every so often when I really get cooking with something be it painting, decorating, landscaping the house, my relationship with my lunatic husband whatever it is I can get myself into that zone when perfection seems so close.
That is never a good place to be for me. With out fail I will mess up what started as a gorgeous painting, pick the wrong color carpet, move over the azaleas, or have a fight with the husband. Then it is very hard for me to let go of how close it was to perfect. Well this week while angry with the husband over a fight about shoes yes seriously shoes and disgusted my painting had turned to ass I realized this thing again that helps me fairly often.
If life is perfect if you make the perfect thing, are in the perfect place then there is no point no place to go from there but down so you may as well be dead. I suddenly found myself grateful for the dirty shoes on my hardwoods and my lack of artistic skills.
Just a thought